A Funny Thing Happened at Work

Sorry for the lack of updates, there hasn't been much to tell. Unless you just want to hear more of my complaining about the job market, and lack of funds. So, I will tell you a story.

Last week, I had an interview with an agency. I rode the Max (by myself!), and went in. Obviously, I need to wear in my feet again to be able to walk in shoes other than Tennies or flip flops. By the time I got to the interview, my feet were all bloody. Fun. The blisters are still healing. Anyway.... I filled out all the necessary paperwork, and talk to the agent. She immediately tells me that there is something coming up this week that she may be able to place me in – but it's just one night and it's in Portland – would I be interested? I find out, I would be working a movie screening, handing out surveys, ushering, stuff like that. Yep, I'm interested. She tell me that people fight for these positions because they are so fun and lax.

She also tells me of another position in Beaverton that is not temp to hire, but more of an ongoing temp position – there are people there that have been temping there for 3 years. It's basically doing phone-in bets. Like a phone bookie. So, we have been talking like old time gangsters and trying to come up with funny gangster names all week. We're still waiting to hear back for an interview on this one. I should know something by Monday.

Back to the movie screening: She called on Tuesday and offered me the position. I jumped on it. Not just because we needed the money – but also for the networking possibilities, and because it sounded interesting. I was to meet everyone on the steps outside the movie theater in Lloyd Center at 4:15 and wear a suit, or at least wear a suit jacket. I did not have either, so we used a suit jacket that is Sans' but handed down from my dad. It was navy blue pinstripe, and I had the perfect navy skirt and shoes. Got some fashion advice from my friends on Facebook, and away I went.

Sans and I worked out a ride situation, as it was his day off. He dropped me off, and picked me up at what was supposed to be the end of my shift. When I got there, I was told to go into theater two. I went in and went to the front where everyone else was sitting. I was given a name tag, and listened to a woman talk on the phone to her kids to tell them that she loved them. I noticed not many others were wearing their jackets, and I was hot (I am having lots and lots of hot flashes right now), so I just left mine off. Then, I was almost immediately picked to go with a group to hand out Confidentiality agreements and check ID's. I was in charge of that, and there was a counter, someone who gave out wrist bands, etc. etc.

I don't want to say, really, that I was in charge of anything, but I was treated like I was in charge. Everyone seemed to come to me for info, including the other workers. They didn't give us anywhere to put our things, so I started a pile that we could see to put all of our bags and jackets in. We were on the third floor of the mall and there were two separate lines across the opening median from each other. One was for the 6:30 showing (my line) and one was for the 7:15 showing. We all got in our line and started working with the people that showed up. One woman, Denise, kept laughing at anything I said and told me how fun I was to work with. We all got along very well and had a good time talking to the people waiting in line. The people were all friendly and polite.

By the time 5:30 rolled around, there were several hundred people in line. There were also several hundred people in the line across from us. Instead of concrete, there were windows along the center “rails.” You could see directly through them to the other side. I was talking to a woman and a couple of men about the confidentiality agreements and in the midst of checking their ID's, when suddenly, my skirt fell to the ground. Completely off. Around my ankles in a pile on the floor. I was understandably horrified. I bent over quickly, and picked it back up, it got stuck on my heel, but I managed to put it back on while answering a question from some people walking by who were completely oblivious as to what I was doing. I looked across to the other line, and saw a bunch of boys looking at me and watching me. The people I had been helping were very kind. As soon as I got my skirt back on and adjusted, I realized that the woman had been dancing around me so that no one would notice, and the men all had their eyes averted to their papers or the floor. I thanked them all for their discretion and for giving me my privacy. The woman told me that I handled the whole thing with grace. She was so nice, I thanked her profusely. After about 5 people down the line, no one seemed to notice that anything had gone awry in front of them. That was a relief.

I quickly moved on, until we had run out of paperwork. Then I moved on to the next line, which was already being taken care of another group. Once the first line had disappeared, I went to talk to the guy that was doing the counting and brought him to the other side. I realized that from the other line, I couldn't really keep tabs on our bags, so I grabbed them and moved them over to the other side, as well. One of the guys that was running the whole thing asked what I was doing, and I told him. He said that was a great idea, and thanked me for thinking of it.

I found out later that these guys were from L.A., and the people from relaxed Portland had a little trouble following them because they were so “fast.” They spoke fast, they moved fast, the shot out instructions fast. I assume that's why people looked at me be in charge, so to speak. I could translate Hollywood-ese to Portland-ese. And I remembered all the instructions that we were given. I ran around and ran around, getting things organized, until I thought my feet were going to fall off, not unlike my skirt. We were finally allowed to go on break at that point. Denise and went and sat down in the food court. We just chatted for a while (I told her about my skirt and she was horrified with me, and then we both laughed hysterically) and she hit up all the sample people for the free samples. She was really hungry. I had brought a snack (yay! me).

Once I declared that we should go back, we went back into the theater and got our new instructions. We were placed according to our abilities. I was going to help organize the breakdown of the surveys, after I helped passed them out. Until then, though, we had nothing to do, so we just sat around outside the theater and talked about who we are outside of this job. I met some really fascinating people. And everyone, again, was SO nice. It was really a lovely evening. We got all of our work done, and got out a little bit early. One of the women let me use her cell to call Sans to come and get me, and then we all started to leave. But not before several people told me to wear pants the next time!

Out in the parking lot, I waited for Sans. I was a little worried and cold. I had just been told that there was a stabbing across the street the other day, so I was a little wary. At one point, two guys walked across the street to talk to me. I was on guard about it, thinking about where to run, hide, what to use as a weapon. They were actually really funny guys. They told me that they had a wager about who was the most attractive of the two. I couldn't pit one against the other, so I told them both that they both had different attractive qualities. One man, had beautiful eyes, the other had a great smile and I loved the shape of his head (he was bald). They both were satisfied with that and went back the way they came. It was kind of bizarre.

Sans showed up and we went home. Everyone I have told this story to has either been horrified or laughed. Or moves from one emotion to the other. I called my mom today to tell her and she didn't believe me at first. I told her that something bad had happened, and she asked me if I pooped my pants. And after that, she just couldn't stop laughing. And neither could I. I hope that a pic or video doesn't show up on the internet, as it is pretty horrifying when it happens. But now, I laugh at the whole thing and move on. Now, it's just a funny story – something that happens to other people, not me.

Although there is not much news elsewhere, I am trying to remain positive, it is really really hard, but I'm trying really really hard. I hope everyone else is faring well. Have a great weekend! I hope my story brought a smile to your face!

The offending skirt.